Larry visits….wellington
Yeah I live in Waikanae.
Yeah I work In Lower Hutt.
Yeah I head into Wellington City regularly.
Yeah You could say Im a Wellingtonian
BUT I WONT ACCEPT IT!
First of all Waikanae is on the Kapiti Coast, so I’ll support Horowhenua-Kapiti before i’ll support the Wellington Lions!.
Theres a difference between Kapiti Coasters and Wellingtonians, it is called driving ethics. Whats is that you ask? here’s an example:
When entering the south-of-waikane passing lanes on a firday and the traffic is all in the left lane moving at a pace slower than 60kph, YOU DONT HEAD INTO THE RIGHT HAND LANE AND PASS EVERYONE!. The reason everyone is not passing is to keep the traffic moving and not rubber-necking at the end of the passing lanes!. Sure it might be slower than speed limit movement, but it means less chance of the traffic stopping and backing up!. GRRRRRR! thats the reason i pull into the lane in front of you and make you cross the double yellow line to pass me!.
So the other day, I decided to visit Wellington and research there driving habbits (oh and drop off four 2RU Cantaliever shelfs to the good folk at Rexel and a 45RU 19″X600mm Cabinet to the dorks at Cory’s) and I got to observe these strange little creatures in there metal machines.
First off, the motorway. No real surprises there, fast cars zooming by in the right hand land, normal traffic in the centre and left lanes. Pretty average motorway driving.
Then it was into a Orange-lit terrace tunnel. I always wondered why it was lit orange in the day, then white at night when the rest of the motorway is lit orange?. Ah….wellingtonians.
When I hit the CBD it was different. Lots of cars zipping around through narrower streets, amongst pedestrians and parked vehicles. Then I notice a strange trend, people only indicate when there halfway through a turn.
It seems they are all in such a rush. So much so they cant INDICATE THEN TURN, to avoid traffic accidents. Ive seen the Carnage, theres a painter and panel beaters next to my work. Cars comming in a lot with twisted, smashed and sometimes just Dinged, front and rears. Hey want to save money on panel beaters? INDICATE BEFORE YOU TURN!, DOUCHE!.
It’s like Wellingtonians are on speed. They are always in a rush. And maybe suicidal…..
Where Cuba Mall, Cuba Street, and Ghuznee street intersect, there is a set of traffic lights. Now these are fitted with pedestrian crossing lights that activate to inform said pedestrians of when it is safe to cross the road. Its easy to use, just press the large, round button thats in plain sight and at the next light change it will halt the traffic and allow you to cross safely. But NO, Wellingtonians dont use it. I dont know how many times Ive been down there but everytime I have had to slow down or even stop because a suicidal or just a plain idiot has walked out while I have the right of way. One day Im not going to slow down or stop.
So what did I learn from my visit to Wellington?, that all Wellingtonians are Lemmings wasted on smack?. Yeah pretty much. But some might argue that Wellington is “New Zealands Cultural Capital” and I would have to agree. There are lots of dairy’s owned by Indians and bakeries owned by Asians.
Join me next time when I visit a place that girls love.
Laz out.
At Ease.
29
Apr
Oooh, is the next post about a jewellery store?? Or an ice cream and handmade chocolate shop?
Yeah I live in Paraparaumu.
Yeah I work in Petone.
Yeah I head into Wellington City only when I absolutely have to.
Yeah you could say I’m a Wellingtonian….
BOLLOCKS to that!
I’m a Hawke’s Bay boy and proud of it.
A couple of small points Laz, you got to see a very rare phenomenon, Wellingtonians actually indicating, albeit late. My experience is more like me having to use ESP to work out when they are turning or changing lanes as I don’t think the majority have actually discovered what that little stick is on the side of the steering wheel column.
I concur that straddling the white line on passing lanes during peek hours is the only answer to the arseholes that seem to think that they pay more road user charges than anyone else. I think that Fulton Hogan should put the cones down there every Friday rather than on just long weekends to ensure smoother traffic flows.
Final comment, bring on Transmission Gully and the Western Link road then I could avoid a lot of the oxygen thieves.
slinky is working on them…..well hopfully…and ahh cantalever’s…a force and a moment combined!
Yeah I lived in carterton
Yeah I lived in napier
Yeah I head into Wellington City only when I absolutely have to.
Yeah you could say I’m a north islander….
…but when the next big earthquake hits, or your stupid interisland power cable severs, then F*&^ the lot of ya’s im a cantaburian muhahahahahahahahaha
(although secretly i hope for the magpies to annihilate canterbury, and for the hurricanes to do over the crusaders!)
ok in order….
Gem: No and No.
Baldrick: Fulton Hogan have put cones full time on the Lindale passing lanes, but still only on long weekends at the south-of-waikanae passing lanes. GRRRR.
Slink: As president of the K Read fan club, I must disagree with your thoughts on the rugby.
Moon: You suck.
Mandz: Get a PC and the internet you trollop. Whatever that means.
ok in order….
Gem: No and No.
Baldrick: Fulton Hogan have put cones full time on the Lindale passing lanes, but still only on long weekends at the south-of-waikanae passing lanes. GRRRR.
Slink: As president of the K Read fan club, I must disagree with your thoughts on the rugby.
Moon: You suck.
Mandz: Get a PC and the internet you trollop. Whatever that means.
Thanks for pointing that out (twice). Why do I suck??
apologies for the double post, internet having a spaz trying to do it.
And just because moon, just because…
Well just so long as you don’t tell ALL the girls, aight?