Larry visits…your mother!
Welcome to the 2nd installment of the now overly popular Larry visits… series. No im not visiting series today, today, I visit your mother!.
As I walk through the front gate I notice the well kept gardens, the dying flowers (hey it is winter!, im not mocking your mothers skills, we all know shes got mad skills!) and the aroma of fresh baking. Mmmmm fresh scones and raspberry jam!.
I knock at the door and wait a while, I knock again, and again, and AGAIN (getting angry now) then finally hear “Im on the phone, hang on a tick!” suddenly I start to feel uneasy, and start itching. Have I mentioned before ticks make me nervous?.
Finally the door opens and Im greeted with a warm smile and a “sorry it took so long, Jane from work rang to tell me about blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah” I would know what she actually said if I wasnt so sure she just gave me the gladeye…..
Upon entering the house I notice the pictures of a young TGM’er growing up from a chubby little baby untill the recent family gathering. My how you have grown!. Of course I get a running commentary but im not paying attention again, im trying not to laugh at the naked baby photo I just viewed.
Im soon paying attention again as I hear the words “would you like a drink?” and smell the freshly baked scones. “what do you have?” I reply “well if you want a cold drink theres some juice in the fridge, I also have milo, tea and coffee” OH MY GOD!, did she just give me the gladeye again?.
So after sitting at the kitchen table and thinking it was a good choice to say tea instead of coffee, The topic of “how did you meet my child?” comes up. I explain to her about The Geek Mythologies and the very occasional postings from its die hard, hardcore followers and she nods her head wondering why she bothered to ask the question. Turns out Im boring her and she jumps up quickly with a worried look on her face “oh my, my scones!, I need to get my scones out!” I have a wee chuckle and eagerly await a oven fresh scone, fresh from the oven. YUMMMMMMM. Pass me the jam!.
But thats not what she offers me at all…OH NO! not even near it!. After returning to the kitchen table she leans forward and asks “would you like a kiss?” HOLY CRAP! im now 100% positive that it was the gladeye I was seeing, HOLY BE-JEBUS!, I cant believe your mother gave me the gladeye and wants to kiss me!. “Um no thanks”, I half mumble in reply, “knowing your child and all, I really dont think it would be appropriate that I accept your offer”. Your mother stares at me, not quite sure about what im saying. I feel awkward and quickly gather myself and say “thank you for the cup of tea, nice to meet you” and bolt for the door. I shakingly open it and am half out where I here her say “wow, thats the first person ive ever met that is scared of a Hersheys chocolate kiss!”.
Having made a complete fool of myself I leave, never to return again…
Tune in next time when Larry Visits…The 2nd layer of hell!
Laz out.
At ease.
16
Apr
You are lucky you didn’t stay for the scones – one taste of my mother’s baking and you would never want to leave. And that naked baby picture of me is very artistic, everyone says so!
have you considered writing porn scripts?
Does porn have scripts?
I never noticed!
Gem: running around a sprinkler naked when you were 2 is artistic? Then I must be Michelangelo!