Patience
Have you ever been in a situation where there’s something that you have been asked to not do, so ofcourse that’s the one thing that you badly want to do?
I am facing this very predicament and I have to say, I am not doing very well at it by any means. I have been asked to not make contact with a particular person for reasons that will remain private to that person. Sounds easy enough? No, it’s not easy at all. This is the one person that I want to talk to everyday, the one person that I want to be in contact with more than anything. It just feels so natural for me to pick up the phone and call that person, or to text them throughout the day. It’s like putting a bowl of lollies in front of a child and saying that they shouldn’t touch the lollies, even though they’re the child’s favourite sweets.
So what do I do? I have been reasonably self restrained so far, not perfectly, but fairly well, considering how much this is totally bugging me. It’s like being in withdrawal from an addiction, I know I shouldn’t do it but I so badly want to do it anyway. So what do I do?
Distraction by means of exercise has been suggested to me, a good plan, but do I really need to be doing more than what I already do? Yes is the short answer there, yes I do need to be doing more. Not saying I will, just merely saying that I should. Sounds more like beating myself up though, and since I haven’t technically done anything wrong, why punish myself? Why beat myself up over somebody elses choices?
That brings me to the situation at hand. This isn’t my choice to be hanging in limbo, I’ve been put here. It’s not where I want to be, not by a long shot. I’m not normally a particularly patient person when it comes to waiting. But this time I have found that I do possess the ability to be patient, I am capable of waiting quietly. Scratch that last word, quietly may possibly be an over exageration on my part, lets just say that I am waiting, and the mere fact that I am doing so is a small miracle in itself.
So why am I waiting? I am waiting for an outcome to present itself, for something to happen. Something has to happen and it has to happen soon, and when it does there will be an outcome. There will be a reason for my ever so patient waiting to come to an end. That explains what I am waiting for, but not why I am waiting. Crud. Why am I waiting? Good things come to those who wait, perhaps? I am waiting because I have faith. I believe in what I am waiting for. I trust that what will be will be. I am not turning my back and walking away, not this time. There will be an end, or there will be a beginning.
And that’s why I wait.
05
Jan
the important thing is you tried…
I get the feeling someone has said that to me once or twice before…
The guy must be a idiot to keep you waiting. It may be worth it in the end you never know.
how longs too long to wait thought, i mean like how longs too long to wait on a maybe?
There’s never to long to wait if the waits worth it.
I’m not waiting for a maybe. I’m waiting for an end or a beginning to my road.
Its sounds like someone is trying to keep his options open which can be very unfair on those concerned.
its not often i agree with tori, but i agree with what she said.
I am waiting for now, but I won’t wait forever.