V day
Chappy made the decision to be sterilised, and after months of talking about it we finally got his day at the clinic for the big snip. We both expected it to be a rather straight forward proceedure as neither of us had heard anything different to say otherwise. I doubt that either of us will forget what happened for years to come.
We got to the clinic early and lucky for Chappy the doctor was ahead of schedule so the time of the big snip was brought forward. My Chappy broke out in a sweat immediately and was looking rather nervous. I thought it would be nice if we could get through it without either of us fainting.
Who would have thought getting anaesthetic injected directly into the scrotum would be so gut wretchingly painful? Just watching the needle going in made my lights want to go out. Chappy wasn’t doing so well either, his nuts were getting knocked about and there was a man standing over him holding a sharp knife to the very region.
Theres not much a woman can say to a man at this point to take his mind off it.
The doctor was very accommodating to my being there, he insisted on showing me everything as he went. I have seen what testicles look like now, and I mean inside. I had always imagined them to be white and shiny like a pair of ping pong balls, but they are pink and fleshy. The doctor showed me how he pulls out the tubes, clamps each end and cuts out a piece from the middle, damages each end to form scar tissue (to prevent them from rejoining) and puts them back in. There was a little more to it that that but I don’t want to explain too much, just the jist of it.
The scrotum is stitched up each side with disolving stitches which do not need to be removed. With all that being done and taking near two hours we were clear for exit, we were able to leave the building. My poor Chappy couldn’t have outrun a snail at that point, I held his hand and got him to the car and took him home with the expectation that he would sleep it off and be right as rain by morning.
There was no sleeping that night and by morning things had gone from bad to worse. Chappys wound had seeped all night, and when he stood up the blood began to flow. I shovelled some pain killers into his mouth and wrapped his bits up in a sanitary pad (its the best I could find at short notice) and took him back to the doctor who he was hoping to never meet again. An hour later we were out of there and doped up on more pain relief poor Chappy waddled to the car looking forward to getting home for some much needed sleep.
Unfortunately by the time we got home I checked the padding (the doctor liked my idea of using a sanitary pad and had asked me to do it again) but to our horror the bleeding had increased. A panic call to the doctor and we were back there for surgery number 3. Having anaesthetic injected directly into a surgical wound in the scrotum i’m told is ten times more agonising than the first time. Thankfully the third lot of stitches worked, the blood finally clotted and I was able to take Chappy home for sleep, with a crap load of prescription drugs to boot. Five days on and he is still in pain and can walk slowly.
Vasectomy anybody?
02
Dec
Oh yeah… I’m sooooo getting me one of those now!!
What a great advert for NOT having it done!
That story even made me cringe!!!
My nuts!