Why you should never travel with old men
Saturday was possibly one of the longest days of my life, oh good grief it dragged on and on! I had an early start (not my best time of day) because it was ‘d’ day, I had to drive my old man to Auckland to deliver him to his new car, and since I had been volunteered for the hell of all jobs I decided to make a day of it and took the weenies with me, with all intent of having a fun day out.
Just getting those two wretched beings out of bed and into the car was a mission in itself. The big one flat out refused to come and the little one wanted to bring every cuddly toy she could possibly fit into the car. With the patience of a freaken saint I managed to reduce the amount of cuddly toys down to the favoured three and a pillow, and pushed poked and prodded the big one dragging her feet and complaining into the car with the promise of a fun day out. She called me a big fat LIAR before we had even set off. In hindsight she wasn’t exactly wrong.
The old man travels in a very different fashion from me. His list of must have items included a thermos and bananas. Mine included water bottles for the weenies, a large coffee to go, and a sick bowl in case of well sudden sickness. Just because you never know. He packed everything into the boot of the car, because naturally if anybody wants to drink their water or their freaken coffee to go we must pull over and get out to fetch them from the boot. The bowl too for that matter. We argued about this for at least the first 50km. I was lets say a little cranky at having to drive so early in the day and not being able to have my coffee to go as I went. Never take a womans coffee off her in the morning, never.
Worse to come was the lolly ban. Thou shalt not consume lollies while travelling in Grandads vehicle with no stereo. No coffee for the chicky babe and no lollies for the weenies combined with a sick and coughing and sneezing old man was not the best combination by any means. An old man who had to keep a running commentary the entire way telling me how to drive, when there is a car behind in front of or beside me, which gear I am in, the speed I am going, you would have mistakenly thought I had no clue how to drive!
We were all so utterly relieved when we finally got to the point of swap over where the old man was supposed to bid farewell to us girls and drive away in his new car leaving us to to put some fun into our day. I was going to the zoo and we were going to dam well have some fun regardless, I was not driving all that way to simply turn back. And this I didn’t see coming, to my absolute horror he came back to the car with a meek ‘I’m coming back with you, I changed my mind, I don’t like it.’ I swear 5,000 hairs fell out of my head there and then. The poor weenies were aghast.
We then argued as to what to do next, old man wanted to go straight home, I was going to the zoo, the weenies just wanted out and anywhere. I took us all to the zoo with a stern we are going to the zoo and we are going to enjoy it executive decision. We got there no worries and wouldn’t you know it we did in fact have a really good fun day out at the zoo. Everybody enjoyed themselves, even the old man had fun with the weenies and the animals. And just between you and me I literally bumped into Hamish Carter, triathlete, who was also having family time with his kiddies, he is a lot taller that he seems on tele.
The highlight of my zoo experience was the Hippos, I just love Hippos. Tev loved the Tiger, and Tayla well she just loved running aroung and climbing on top of everything she could find. Like the giant frog statue, the giant lizzard statue, the giant egg slide, you get the idea.
Our trip home was as pleasant as the trip there, a living hell. I sent a text to my mum with the promise of having the old boy home to her within 3 hours, we argued over this for a good half hour because he insisted we pull over so he could figure out how to use his mobile to phone her to correctly let her know we would be at the very least four and a half hours. I didn’t stop to let him make the call and I had him delivered back to mum safe and sound in 2 hours 50 minutes. And yes I did time it because crikey I had to have the final word. Never again, NEVER.
26
Aug
Test comment. Ignore this please!
Heheh you know you loved it really.
Grrr something in my comment about Hamish Carter was deemed as “Spam”. Hate it when you cant beat your own system.
Hamish Carter, triathelete.
As opposed to Hamish Carter
online accounting systems
Special-ist.
Muahahaha Special-ist includes the word cial-is. Too funny.
Is it the word cial-is or is it viag-ra that is causing team tgm to thank me for my spam
oh it seems to be both. I was trying to say that cial-is is another pill like viag-ra, not sure if thats the funny that Bren found or if I am way off track with his humour?
Oh yeah sorry – didn’t explain myself too well. The comments have a “blacklist” of words that are deemed as spam. Got sick of clearing out 50-100 comments a week from people advertising the products.
Yer list just got bigger didnt it, haha